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⋮⋮⋮   No. 6082

I've suddenly realized that my whole life I, an Ukrainian Jewish person, have dealt with the russophonic natives incorrectly. I have always been nice with them, smiling and trying to avoid rudeness. I spoke in a soft and quiet tone, using well formed syntactic constructs, always appealing to logic when trying to communicate. But even at work the colleagues constantly scolded me for "mumbling something non-obvious," and demanded me to speak louder, in sharp and succinct sentences.

And that, my friends, is the main problem in communicating with the natives. You see, the locals here in Moscow and Kyiv don't understand logic, they hate quiet and polite tone. Russia not Japan. Russians see modesty and politeness as the features of a "pidor" (a passive homosexual). These never sober creaturas are always loud and obnoxious, like chimpanzees. Yet when you speak to them in a rude and command way, showing your teach in a non-smiling way, they immediately get what you mean, especially if your speech is like a battle cry, full of emotions, and you make wide gestures with your hands, hinting at the size of the dick the recipient of your communication is sucking.

For example, you're visiting Russia or Ukraine, and go to buy some groceries, when your path gets blocked by some squatting monkeys with vodka bottles. If you, like a nice guy, tell them "good gentlemen, please allow me to pass", they will look at your like insects looks at a human talking to them, and you will look retarded, like a grown up person speaking with an ant hill. But if you instead say "pizda blyad nakh tibla suka pidor na prokhod ne stoit blyad sdelaite poity suka blyad nakh", they should immediately make you the way, acknowledging the communication be responding "teby blyad uebat blyad suka pidor".

In the exceedingly rare cases when this fails to work (i.e. they are very intoxicated), just take out your hunting knife or a traumatic gun. These creatures only look tough, but will get sober and retreat seeing the sharp metal, because many Russians have the experience of being stabbed multiple times before, and have learned their fun lesson already. You see, you can't teach animals by using a polite tone and logical arguments, but you can teach even elephants, lions and bears by beating them and using treats. So when a heavily tattoed Russian male says "nad prost chelovek byt", they mean exactly that - you need to be rude and ready to use a knife to make some way in the Moscow or Kyiv ghetto.

Please don't ever speak to Russians in English. They don't understand foreign languages and believe that others should study Russian instead. And never ever hold your hands like Angela Merkel - Russians will think that you're a pidor. No quantum physics - just show them your long sharp knife. Insects understand only the insect language.

⋮⋮⋮   No. 6083

⋮⋮⋮   No. 6084

> Ukrainian Jewish person
What does it mean exactly?

⋮⋮⋮   No. 6085

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